


Captain America and Tasergirl vs the Fashion Police

by MotherInLore



Series: So, I Guess my Muse wants Marvel, now... [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Social Media, Steve is a Troll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 17:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15890379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherInLore/pseuds/MotherInLore
Summary: Steve is bored when he runs across a show criticizing his girl's taste in clothes.  Bored Steve is... kinda dangerous.





	Captain America and Tasergirl vs the Fashion Police

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The reports about my love life have been greatly exaggerated](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711628) by [Amerna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amerna/pseuds/Amerna). 



Darcy has had a long, tiring day and she is not feeling up for the ramifications of a bored Steve right now. Bored!Steve is, in some ways, worse than Bored!Tony, because of being less predictable. Bored!Steve plus the Internet is, of course, worse still, and just to put the icing on this particular crap cake, Steve is watching a post that Darcy has been very careful to avoid.

_Today on Fashion Police, we're having a look at Darcy Lewis, spokeswoman for the Avengers, and, more famously, Captain America's girlfriend._

_\- Captain America's girlfriend. So you hate her already._

_\- Well, Captain Rogers_ did _put in an appearance at Pride this year, so I continue to live in hope..._

Darcy kicks off her work heels and starts shimmying out of her pencil skirt and tailored blouse right there in the hallway. She is SO very ready to not be wearing work clothes. Or a bra. The Fashion Police can suck it. And they can stop distracting her boyfriend while they're at it. "Ugh, Steve, why are you even watching that?" 

He doesn't even look up, though he pitches his voice to be heard. "The link was one of my favorite pictures of us: the one where we're sitting on the park bench and you're sitting in my lap with your legs going sideways."

"Aww..." But the tinny voice from the tablet is still going on. _Days of ratty jeans and sneakers and hoodies are over after grad school. -- Exactly. It's like I'm always saying: don't make the mistake of saving a put-together look for specific occasions. Any time you set foot outdoors, people can see you and judge you._ It's like they have a direct line to the spot in her brain where Sixth Grade Darcy is cowering and snarling.

"OK, so why are you _still_ watching it, though? I mean..." Oh. Em. Gee. He is taking notes. He is taking actual notes on this crap. He has a list on the notepad beside him with things like "kitten heels" and "Mascara" on it in his irritatingly perfect handwriting.

At this, Steve twists his neck up enough that he can look at Darcy. She sees his breath hitch a little at the sight of Darcy mostly undressed, but then he hits her with the sunny, innocent smile that means he is thinking something horribly devious. "I was thinking," he says, "that we could maybe follow their advice and do a photo shoot."

"Steve, no!"

"Have a spa day first, it could be fun. I bet Pepper knows where to find the perfect -" Steve glanced down at his list, "Floral-print sundress."

"Steve, seriously. These guys are just a different kind of bully. They're trying to prey on people's insecurities and sell clothes. We don't have to..."

"And she could probably find something for you to wear, too."

Wait, what?

And now his puppy face is gone into complete smirk mode. "We _were_ wearing pretty much the same thing in the first picture, after all."

"Ohmigod I love you so much."

..........

The Fashion Police never do respond to the post with the before and after pictures, but RuPaul loves it. Steve's floral sundress and strappy sandles both emphasize his long legs, and he looks far better in mascara than Darcy ever did.


End file.
